Eye Contact
So this morning at the civilian staff meeting, HR came in and did their annual sexual harassment training. I think it's a little silly to do it every year, but whatever makes the lawyers happy, I guess. But something that kept coming up was how women don't like it when people (particularly men) won't make eye contact and focus instead on their breasts. To hear my colleagues talk, this is a very common problem.'
I don't get it. I have *never* had this problem, even when I was young and, well, okay, not pretty. I was young. But I'm sure even now that my bustline is a more pleasing view than my face (hello, do you see my face in my profile pic??), and still, I do not have this problem. Are all these women just imagining things?
Comments
I think there's a big difference between people (men or women) looking at various body parts besides faces and leering at various body parts besides faces. If there's a problem, I think it needs to be stopped and awareness is a good thing. But there's also such a thing as creating a problem where none exists.
And Strix? Nice rack! ::leer leer::
;)
The "sexual harassment" thing has really gotten out of hand in the past few years. Some women have become so zealous in their quest for domination that some smart men just aren't as willing to tell a female co-worker that she "looks nice today", because it might just give them the wrong impression, or an excuse to get you in trouble and create sympathy for herself, and all because she can.
Personally, I used to say nice things like that to all women that I'm stuck with for the work shift just as an effort to create, and keep, a pleasent working atmosphere. (heh heh heh -If I had MY way, I'd never leave the house, but life forces me to work with others.)
It's sad that so many women think that "if you're not looking in her eyes, then he's looking at her breasts" (or other parts of her anatomy) as if all men were slobbering dogs.
And, so what if someone looked at you? So what if they like what they see? Women used to be flattered when they were told of their beauty by someone other than their mom & dad, or lover. Most rational people know the boundaries between nice, rude and lewd.
I'm happily married, but it doesn't mean that I can't tell a woman she looks nice today. If women really didn't want to be recognized as "beautiful", then why would they spend so much time making themselves "look good" for work? Most people get hired because they're able to do a certain job, and not because they were skillful with their makeup kit.
A relatively small handful of male dogs have ruined a workplace where a man didn't have to conciencely be careful about what he appears to be looking at.
Like I said, I'm happily married, but I LOVE women and everything they do to make themselves look good every day. -People can't help but look at what happens to walk before their eyes every day. GOD gave me eyes to look with, women dress up TO look as good as they can, and they deserve to be told when they've done so. I, for one, have the ability to look, AND maybe enjoy without leering.
-It gets better 'tho...
At my last hospital job, there was a Nurse Practitioner who slapped me on the ass, and said "You do good work!". -Should I have screamed "sexual harassment", pushed to have her fired and sue the hospital?
Rediculous. I smiled, said "thank you", and went on with my work.
-Was I wrong in my actions?
Maybe I'm a little bit of a dog too...
-But I'm a loyal dog.
Strix, I saw your pictures, and I've got to say that you look lovely, and you have a neat necklace!
I, too, have a hard time with eye contact. I've always had the feeling that direct eye contact is either aggressive, arrogant, or intimate. So when I remember to force myself, I focus on one eye for a couple of seconds at a time and then switch to the other eye, but this doesn't last very long before I start looking at their teeth or eyebrows instead.
I think remarkably attractive women (and men, for that matter) probably do get leered at, and I can't blame them for feeling uncomfortable with it. But I suspect that most average-looking (or worse) people are imagining things when they complain about this. Believe me, I don't get leered at. I get about as much attention as the office furniture.
i have been leered at. not saying i think i'm all that attractive or whatever, we all have times in our lives we feel attractive, and times we don't. but the point is, i just basically ignore it. not uncomfortable with it just ignore it. NOW, if it gets to the point of non-physical assalt by leer lol, then that's something else.
for example, this august my daugher, son's gf and i were riding the nighttrain from rome back to the venice area. my son was there but was talking to the conductor. some indescribably rude people that were trying to bully themselves into our private car (another story) decided to LEER at us girls. esp. one guy. i mean he got his chair, placed it in the doorway and took tuns leering, bugeyed and all at each of us three. my son's gf basically ignored it, my daughter did too, but it ticked me off so bad I just LEERED back at him, bugging my eyes out. we had a language barrier but trust me, he understood......
No, what offends me is is the average woman who thinks she's soooo gorgeous that everyone MUST be leering at her. You know, the troublemakers. The ones who love a good pity-party, and love to play "the victim" all the time to make her way through life.
It disgusts me that this sort of behavior is considered "acceptable". I think that those little victim wannabes ought to be made into real victims. Life would be better without these kinds of scumbags.
There are also the male dogs who ruin life for everyone, and we should dispose of them too.